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Thor fic: Much to do with Hate (But More With Love) 1/1

January 16th, 2014 (05:59 am)
lethargic
Tags: , ,

feeling: lethargic

Title: Much To Do With Hate (But More With Love)

Disclaimer: I do not own Thor.

A/N: Written on a whim and beta’ed by lena7142. Pre-movie and post-movie included with general spoilers for the MCU verse.

Warnings: I suppose I did kill a main character off in the end.

Summary: This is a good story. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.



-o-

This is a good story. It is a story of good and evil. It is a story where everything is as it should be, and the monster dies at the end.

This is a good story.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

-o-

It starts in Jotunheim, when one king conquers another. Maybe it's the rush of battle; maybe it's the mercy of a man who's killed too much. Maybe it's the way fire seeks to consume ice, only to meet its match.

But the All-Father finds a baby. When all the enemies have been defeated, when the monsters have been slain, this is all that is left. A small, helpless child in a world no longer made for him. Killing him might be the more merciful thing, but his heart is strong and his soul are eager.

Odin puts away his sword, for he can not carry the blade and take the child all at once.

It changes everything.

-o-

Back at the palace, Frigga does not know what to do with the child. She has her hands full with Thor, and she has no desire to entertain the spoils of a foreign war. She tends to the baby dutifully while Odin figures something else out.

It is an odd baby, Frigga thinks. Very slight with fine features and knowing eyes. He is quiet, even in discomfort. She is used to Thor's howls when the slightest thing is off, but this child watches and waits. She finds his eyes on her no matter what she is doing.

She is minding her chambers when she hears Thor in the other room, where the baby is nestled quietly in the bassinet.

He is too young to talk yet, but his gibberish is upbeat and earnest. When she peeks in at them, Thor is leaned over the edge, his face staring in wonder at the small child inside.

"Thor!" Frigga says. "What are you doing?"

Thor looks up, grinning. "Brother!" he croons, the word clear and resounding. She swears, it echoes out the windows and through the palace halls. "My brother!"

Frigga often reminds Thor of his limits and tries to instill a sense of discipline in her son, for he is too prone to thinking all the world is his without reason or consequence. But as he beams at the baby; as he reaches out to delicately touch the child; Frigga cannot deny him this.

"Yes," she says, coming closer to them. Seeing them together solidifies something she cannot explain. She puts a hand on Thor's unruly blonde hair, watching as the dark child smiles for the first time below them. "I believe you two will have many years ahead of you."

-o-

They name him Loki. Though he is younger than Thor, he strives to be his brother's equal. They learn to walk and play together, exploring the palace and finding mischief. Loki is the one who comes with all the plans; Thor is the one bold enough to execute them.

Thor and Loki, the princes of Asgard.

No one can imagine it any other way.

-o-

"Brother," Thor says. "Will you race me home for dinner?"

Loki snorts. "But you will always win."

"That is not certain!" Thor insists. "And if you do win, I will let you have my portion of dessert for a week."

"A month," Loki bargains.

Thor grins. "A month."

They race all the way home, breathless and laughing. The outcome is no surprise, but that has never stopped them.

It never will, either.

-o-

Thor is golden light; he rises with the sun and never stops while the day is long. He fills his moments with movement, charging ahead heedlessly as though he fears stopping. At night, he sleeps heavily and deeply, dead to the world.

Loki is reluctant in the mornings, and his complexion never turns ruddy in the Asgardian sunlight. He often stays awake at night, using his magic to illuminate a light under the covers so he can read or sketch as the hours wane.

They could not be more different.

Yet they have always been the same.

-o-

It is not always good, though. Thor grows brash, and Loki grow devious. When they are given power, they do not wield it well. Thor is careless with his, and Loki is selfish in his own.

"I do not know what we will do with them," Odin sighs in exasperation. "If Thor had an ounce of Loki's reason; if Loki had a semblance of Thor's good nature.

Frigga purses her lips. "We have two sons, Odin," she says. "Even if they only have the qualities between them to make one good king."

-o-

When Thor is chosen to ascend to the throne, Loki does what he can to stop it. It is not because he hates his brother; no, this has nothing to do with that at all. This has everything to do with showing his worth. Everyone wants to be the hero of the story, after all.

Besides, a coronation sounds so boring.

Loki has better ideas.

-o-

Of course, that doesn't go the way Loki thinks it will. He gets the crown, but Thor gets the power, and in the end, Loki has created his own worst enemy. He thinks, in the years that follow, of all the things he should have done, could have done, would have done, but he doubts it matters much.

For fate is cruel and fate is fickle.

And fate has chosen Thor.

Loki is still the forsaken child, left to die in a sacred place, cold and alone.

-o-

It would be easy to think this is a story about hate. For the brothers do fight, and they do throw their full weight against each other. Loki plots to hurt Thor, and Thor does not hesitate to dole out the sharp edge of justice to his brother.

Sometimes, when they are each alone, they think about the things they could say to make this better. Thor thinks about telling his brother how sorry he is for not honoring him sooner; he thinks about telling Loki that his true parentage matters not, that a Frost Giant can have just as much honor as any being in the universe. He thinks about telling him that he would be the better king.

Loki thinks about telling Thor that this was never meant to be about Thor. That this has always been Loki fighting himself. Thor just got in the way.

But then, that would make this story easy.

This story is many things, but easy is not among them.

-o-

Loki slips away.

Thor finds himself.

Loki seeks all power.

Thor shuns it.

Opposites, always and forever.

-o-

In the years that mount, Odin sometimes forgets why he took Loki. He forgets the child's smile, how he changed so eagerly to please Odin, how Odin dreamed of a better future for both of them.

Frigga remembers, sometimes more than she should. She remembers the small child she taught to read and write, the boy she trained with magic and doted on more than the rest. She remembers the baby she fell in love with, even now that he is grown.

Loki picks and chooses his history in order to build the future he deems fit. It seems only fair to him, having been the victim of so many other choices. If his story is not to be good, then it shall at least be of his own choosing.

Thor has no need for any of this. For yes, he remembers more clearly than the rest. And he always forgets the things he must. But for Thor, it is neither the past nor the future that matter most. Thor wants to claim this moment as best he can, for himself and all nine realms.

They all share this story, even if they all tell it their own way.

-o-

In a universe where races perish and heroes fall, the princes of Asgard are surprisingly unaccustomed to death. It is not until Frigga is seen off to Valhalla that they begin to understand that theirs is not merely a playtime squabble. The consequences will resonate through their entire lives. Indeed, they shall be felt in all the realm.

They could stop now. They could find peace with one another, make amends over their mother’s body.

But that’s not the way the story goes.

-o-

Loki plots; Thor vanquishes. They are both left hurting.

Again and again and again.

-o-

Thor grows weary first, and stands before his brother with his hands outstretched. "Surely, you see," he says. "This back and forth between us, it is a pointless thing. It will gain us nothing."

Loki stiffens and narrows his eyes. "It may gain you nothing," he posits.

"We would make better allies than enemies!" Thor argues.

"And you think it is so easy?" Loki sneers. "Do you think we can rewrite our story?"

"No," Thor says. "But I believe the ending is not yet written yet."

-o-

The thing is, they're both right.

This is a story that's been written amongst the stars since the very dawn of the light.

But it's been one they've controlled the entire time.

-o-

Thor's enemies multiply, for the light will always attract the dark. His decision to defend the Midgardians is costly and taxing. He cannot fight Loki, so he will fight the rest of the galaxies instead.

Loki's enemies dwindle, not because he has more allies but because he cares less about the rest of the world. His focus has narrowed to a single, definable point. It is about Thor.

It has always been about Thor.

-o-

Thor knows the opposite is true, for his parents had no choice with him but they had every choice with Loki. Blood bonds are contrived; family that is chosen is the only kind that endures.

Thor is the natural protagonist, born heir and conqueror.

Loki is the wild card; he's the one that gives it meaning, that gives it life.

This has always been about Thor. His story is safe, honorable and predictable.

Which is to say, it's always been Loki that changes everything. He makes the story harder, more complicated and convoluted.

Some might say he makes it worse.

Thor knows he makes it better.

-o-

It's funny, because for all the destruction he’s caused, it's Loki who fixes everything. When Thor's Avengers are falling; when Midgard is all but lost; when Thor raises his hammer for one last defense and is sent crashing among the debris.

He sits back from the shadows and tries to laugh, for this is the ending he has sought. This is the way he wants it to go.

It's not the Avengers, and it's not this planet. But Thor does not rise and as the fire burns around them, Loki realizes this was always how it was going to be.

It's just up to him to finish it.

-o-

It ends on Midgard, among the ruins of a planet fighting for its chance. Maybe it's the rush of battle; maybe it's the mercy of a man who's killed too much.

Maybe it's the way ice seeks to squelch fire, only to meet its match.

But Loki sees his brother fall. When all the enemies have been defeated, when the monsters have been slain, this is all that is left. A broken, helpless man in a world no longer made for him. Killing him might be the more merciful thing, but his heart is strong and his soul is eager.

Loki unsheathes his power, for he can not save this man with empty hands.

It changes everything.

-o-

Loki expends all his energy, and even that is not enough. He pours himself out, fighting an evil he might have otherwise craved. He fights and he fights and he fights until there is nothing left.

When he falls, he does not see the end of the battle. He does not see the Avengers rise to finish what Loki has started. He does not see their enemy writhe and die. He does not see the victory.

He only sees Thor, still and bleeding and breathing, and though Loki is dying, he thinks it is all right. It is as it should be.

Gasping, he struggles to speak. Though his brother cannot hear him, Loki suspect he’s known all along. "This is a good story, brother," Loki says to Thor. "Let no one tell you otherwise."

As he fades, there are no regrets.

-o-

Thor recovers in the wake of the battle, but he is never the same when he sees Loki's body. No one mourns with him, but Midgard is drowned with rain for all his sorrow.

This is victory, after all.

And the rest is washed away.

-o-

This is a good story.

About heroes and villains; about right and wrong. It is a cosmic battle between all the forces of the light and dark, and how the righteous prevail. This is a story about how monsters can be heroes, and all heroes fall. This is a story about redemption, and how the greatest monsters are the ones we create for ourselves. These are monsters we have to slay ourselves, and they are the greatest victories of all.

This is a good story.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Comments

Posted by: gypsy_atavari (gypsy_atavari)
Posted at: January 16th, 2014 12:22 pm (UTC)

*sniff* awwww this was so good!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: February 9th, 2014 03:52 am (UTC)
loki

Thank you :)

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: January 16th, 2014 04:13 pm (UTC)

this is wonderful.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: February 9th, 2014 03:52 am (UTC)
thor angsts

Thanks so much :)

Posted by: sophie_deangirl (sophie_deangirl)
Posted at: January 17th, 2014 03:50 pm (UTC)

Wonderful! I love Tom Hiddleston and have always felt a sense of vulnerability in Loki as he plays him. Conflict and insecurity in a demi-god. I love this redemption you gave him, that in the end, family is most important and that Loki chose it over being evil. You know how much I love this kind of angst. You created it perfectly here.

Fave part:

Loki expends all his energy, and even that is not enough. He pours himself out, fighting an evil he might have otherwise craved. He fights and he fights and he fights until there is nothing left.

When he falls, he does not see the end of the battle. He does not see the Avengers rise to finish what Loki has started. He does not see their enemy writhe and die. He does not see the victory.

He only sees Thor, still and bleeding and breathing, and though Loki is dying, he thinks it is all right. It is as it should be.

Gasping, he struggles to speak. Though his brother cannot hear him, Loki suspect he’s known all along. "This is a good story, brother," Loki says to Thor. "Let no one tell you otherwise."

As he fades, there are no regrets.

--of course I love the moment of redemption. I haven't seen the latest Thor yet, but there's a part of me that hopes there is scene like this in it.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: February 9th, 2014 03:53 am (UTC)
thor petty

Tom Hiddleston has a great depth as Loki. I'm more of a Thor fangirl than a Loki one, but I do love this sort of angst.

Thanks :)

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