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Chaos fic: Hopeful Fears 1/1

June 19th, 2011 (08:57 pm)
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Title:  Hopeful Fears

Disclaimer:  Not mine.

A/N:  Written for the Running Hot Fever Fic Comment Meme based on a prompt from blackdog_lz .  Since it’s my fault she likes this show, I felt it only right I fill her prompt :)  I gave it a read over myself, but there has been no official beta, so mistakes are my own.  Spoilers for the Pilot and "Core Fortitude."

Prompt:  Can anyone write me a fic, where Billy gets sick on a mission and the rest of the team has to care for him? No slash please, just friendship.

Summary: The simple fact is that they’re miles from civilization, in some cabin with paper thin walls while the winter howls outside, and Billy’s lying on the only cot, burning up from the inside out.


Rick’s afraid.

During his stint at the ODS, he’s existed in various stages of fear.  He’s been scared since day one, and it’s never really eased up.  One moment he’s being thrown in a car with a known Russian operative.  The next, he’s eating a scorpion in the middle of the desert before Michael gets his hand cut off.  And then he’s walking into a restaurant to kidnap someone and walking back out, not sure if he’ll still have a job when it’s all said and done.

Billy told him that it’s okay to be afraid, that he has to learn to work with his fear if he’s going to make it in this line of work. 

The first part is reassuring, because Rick is afraid.  The second part is a little harder, because whether or not Rick thinks he can do this, he doesn’t have much choice.  Because the simple fact is that they’re miles from civilization, in some cabin with paper thin walls while the winter howls outside, and Billy’s lying on the only cot, burning up from the inside out.

They can’t say for sure what’s wrong with him, but they all know it’s some kind of toxin.  They should have counted on such a possibility when they concocted the mission to investigate a remote emissions plant in Siberia.  Their intel had suggested that the plant was a cover for chemical weapons and with a recent flurry of activity in the area, Higgins had deemed it appropriate to approve the mission.

And they had been right, of course.  If they had had any doubts, Billy’s exposure during the initial sweep is steadfast evidence enough.

The toxin hadn’t taken immediate effect, but by the time they’d pulled back to their post several miles away, Billy had already been feverish.  By the time Michael had come up with a plan to disarm the facility, Billy had been slumped in the bed, racked with shivers.

They’d had no choice, really.  To be this close and not finish the mission was not an option.  Casey’s assessment of Billy was that the toxin was fast acting but likely curable.  As long as they got him to help soon enough, Casey was fairly certain the effects could be reversed.

The assumption, of course, is that Billy’s compromised immune system can fend off the fever’s debilitating effects long enough for Casey and Michael to take down the operation.

In this, Rick has the easy job.  He just has to hold position and watch Billy, waiting until the rest of the team gets back so they can take their only source of transportation and get Billy the hell out.  When they’d come up with it, it had seemed like a good plan; a reasonable plan. 

And then Michael and Casey had left, and Rick was alone with no way out while Billy’s fever climbed.

Now Rick sits by the cot, keeping one eye on the fire and another on his watch.  He’s counting the seconds as they pass, feeding the fire compulsively for fear of it going out.  He does anything he can to avoid looking at Billy, who hasn’t opened his eyes since they laid him there.

Rick doesn’t have to check on Billy to know he’s still alive.  Rick can hear his teeth chattering, the ragged push and pull of his breathing as he thrashes in the sheets.  He doesn’t need to check on Billy to know the fever getting worse, either.  Billy has stopped mumbling now, too deep in the fever to even give voice to the hallucinations gripping him.

Rick understands why they have to do this.  He knows Michael would never put Billy’s life on the line unless it was absolutely necessary.  This factory supplies weapons to terrorists and radical regimes, sometimes killing large masses of people, sometimes children.  Billy wouldn’t want them to stop on his account.

But as Rick glances at Billy, it still seems like a high price to pay.

Closing his eyes, Rick drops his head to hands, thinking about the prayers his mother taught him when he was young.  He tries one out but can’t remember how it ends.  The fact is, he’s never been much of a man of faith.  He’s placed his hope in the things he can do and the things he can grasp, not the things he can’t see or control.

Suddenly, there’s a commotion; Rick looks hopefully to the door only to find it as still as ever.  By the time Rick realizes that Billy’s awake, the Scot is already trying to sit up in bed.

Billy’s eyes are open, but they’re fever-bright as he gropes blindly at the sheets.  Rick moves, putting his hands on Billy’s arms, saying, “You need to lay down.”

Billy just shakes his head, straining against Rick in futility.  His body is weak with the toxin, lean muscles overtaxed by the simple act of breathing.  Still, he puts up a formidable fight.  “I have to,” he says, hoarse.  “I have to go.  The team--the team needs me.”

He sounds desperate, imploring. 

Rick grits his teeth as he manhandles him back.  “You’ve done everything you can,” he says, coaxing as best he can.

Billy shakes his head, his protest slurred and mumbled.

Rick has to steel himself, but presses Billy back harder.  “You need to rest,” he says.  “That’s all we need you to do; we need you to rest.”

Billy strains a moment longer before his body gives out.  He falls back to the sheets, face crumpled and tears squeezing out the corners of his eyes.  “Keep them safe,” Billy mutters, desperate and forlorn.  “Just have to keep them safe.”

Rick’s throat tightens and his heart pounds.  Awkwardly, he lifts a hand to Billy’s forehead, smoothing away the sweat slicked hair with uncertain comfort.  “You’ve done that already,” he says.  “It’s our turn now.”

Billy shifts, head tossing on the cot before he seems to settle back into unconsciousness.

Rick swallows back his fear, holding it in as best he can.  “It’s our turn now,” he says again, too afraid to doubt it.

When Michael and Casey come back, it’s Rick who takes charge, making sure they bundle Billy securely as they transfer him to the car.  Michael drives, knuckles white on the wheel, while Casey sits in the passenger seat, body turned to watch Billy struggling to breathe in the back.

Rick sits, Billy sprawled on his lap.  Over the bumpy terrain, Rick presses a cool compress against Billy’s forehead, running it down his fever-flushed cheeks in equal turns.  The ride is jarring, but Rick hardly notices as he feels for the rapid beat of Billy’s heart, watches the ragged rise and fall of his chest. 

Rick’s afraid, but Billy’s alive and Billy’s fighting.  Rick holds that hope close.

Holds it closer than anything; even his fear.


Posted by: Flute (sgflutegirl)
Posted at: June 20th, 2011 06:45 am (UTC)
H50 - Quote - Rationally concerned

Loved this! :D

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:04 am (UTC)
billy earnest

Thank you :)

Posted by: blackdog_lz (blackdog_lz)
Posted at: June 20th, 2011 07:03 am (UTC)

That was totally awesome. Thank you so much for filling my prompt :)

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:04 am (UTC)
chaos team 2

It was a rather fun prompt to work with :) Thanks!

Posted by: nietie (nietie)
Posted at: June 20th, 2011 08:15 am (UTC)

The angst is awesome! Perfect hurt/comfort.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
billy earnest

I'm such a sucker when it comes to h/c :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!

Posted by: Rane (ranereins)
Posted at: June 20th, 2011 08:27 am (UTC)
Billy/Rick (Chaos)

Well done! This should really be in an actual ep!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
chaos team 2

I know I would love to see if. If CBS hadn't been so stupid regarding this show, who knows what fun might have ensued.


Posted by: the island of conclusions (ariadnes_string)
Posted at: June 21st, 2011 01:35 am (UTC)

I don't know this show (movie?) at all, but I love the set up here! Thanks for the lovely fill!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:06 am (UTC)
chaos team 2

It's a show--very short lived (and very poorly handled) on CBS. And the meme is definitely fun, so thank you for running it :)


Posted by: laylabinx (laylabinx)
Posted at: June 21st, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)

Ohh I love this fandom and this story was great!! Good job!! :D

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2011 03:06 am (UTC)
billy content

I can't help myself when it comes to this fandom. Thanks!

Posted by: The Headkicker (tekiclutch)
Posted at: June 28th, 2011 11:14 am (UTC)

This was really good! It honestly made me ship Rick/Billy just a little... ehehe.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: June 29th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)
billy earnest

I'm glad it was an enjoyable read :) Thanks!

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