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do i dare or do i dare? [userpic]

H50 Ficlet: The Hardest Part 1/1

November 5th, 2010 (02:57 pm)

Title: The Hardest Part

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Written for hawaii_5_0_100  . The prompt this time was "guilt." This didn't turn out quite as interesting as I'd hoped, but here it is nonetheless because it seems silly to leave fic on my computer. Beta'ed by geminigrl11 .

Summary: They say waiting is the hardest part.

-o-

The Hardest Part series
The Hardest Part
Equilibrium
The Big Picture

Hold On

-o-

They say waiting is the hardest part.

Planning the bust is easy. Three armed dealers, two well-backed buyers, a whole lot of drugs, and going in hot is Steve's best option. Getting in isn't even much of a task, not with the careful cover fire from Chin and Kono while he takes the left flank and Danny takes the right.

In the grand scheme of things, it also isn't hard to miss the shot that takes Danny down. In the barrage of gunfire, Steve has a lot to track, and it isn't until Kono cries for help that he realizes something has gone wrong at all.

It's surprisingly easy to assess Danny's condition. His partner is unconscious, with one shot to the thigh and another to the chest. A tourniquet to the leg, pressure on the chest, and he works to control the bleeding even as he explains patiently to Kono how to keep a read on Danny's vitals.

It isn't even hard to get in the ambulance, no matter what the medics try to tell him. Easier still is sitting there, letting the medic work, inserting IVs and threading a tube down Danny's throat. Steve doesn't take his eyes off his partner's too-pale face.

He answers the doctors' questions, calls the governor for an update, and leaves a message with Rachel for good measure. He checks in with Chin and Kono, and the perp who shot Danny will be in interrogation when Steve gets back.

None of it is hard. Steve is trained for combat and as long as he's doing something, it's all second nature.

Then Steve sits down in a waiting room and the hard part begins.

It isn't the second-guessing, though Steve does plenty of that. What if he'd gone in faster, what if he'd taken out the shooter sooner. What if there'd been a better way to enter the scene altogether.

It isn't even the doubt, which weighs heavily nonetheless. The injuries are serious, and it could take weeks or months to recover, assuming Danny makes it through surgery at all.

It's the guilt. This is his team, and he calls the shots, and they trust him to do it right. Steve takes precautions, but the mission is always his endgame, and sometimes he plans with that in mind first. Safety is just a convenient afterthought.

Steve fights crime like he has nothing left to lose. But Danny has a lot to lose. His daughter and his life, just to name a few.

Danny isn't the only one.

This team is Steve's family and Danny isn't just a partner. He's a friend. More than that, Danny trusts Steve with his life, and this time, Steve let him down.

"Steve McGarrett?" a voice asks.

Steve startles, looking up.

"I'm here to update you about Detective Williams," the doctor says.

Swallowing, Steve pushes the guilt aside and gets to his feet.

They say waiting is the hardest part and Steve really hopes that's true.

Comments

Posted by: lillyg (lillyg)
Posted at: November 5th, 2010 11:34 pm (UTC)

Good one!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 6th, 2010 01:53 am (UTC)
danny and steve work together

Thanks!

Posted by: Moogs (moogsthewriter)
Posted at: November 6th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC)
H50 - Car

They say waiting is the hardest part and Steve really hopes that's true.

Wow. Just... wow. That hit me hard. Hopefully he'll never have to find out what happens if the one he's waiting for doesn't make it through. Something tells me that would be harder.

But wonderful, awesome, lovely, and downright fantastic fic, as usual. You make me jealous sometimes with your talent. :) Love these drabbles. You rock.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 6th, 2010 01:55 am (UTC)
danny makes a point

Is it wrong that now you made me want to write a deathfic?

And seriously, you are too kind. I think I'm mostly insane and my muse is completely out of control nine times out of ten. But I can't help but love writing, so it's all good in the end :) The fact that anyone else enjoys the nonsense I put out just makes it so much better.

I've enjoyed drabbles because the rest of my fic ideas seem to be long and I can finish these rather quickly :)

Posted by: Moogs (moogsthewriter)
Posted at: November 6th, 2010 02:07 am (UTC)
H50 - Danny

No...unless it's wrong to admit that the first thing I thought at the end of this fic is that Danny didn't make it. :) (Sometimes I need a good death fic for a good cry.)

And I definitely like your insane, out of control muse. :) It matches quite nicely with my own.

I know what you mean. Drabbles are short, sweet, to the point. It's fun to try and cram a ton of emotion into just a few hundred words.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 6th, 2010 02:14 am (UTC)
danny explanation

I really do like the way you think. It's nice to find someone whose muse as randomly sadistic as my own :)

And now I really hope you find time to write some of your own plot bunnies. This fandom could definitely use more fic....

Posted by: Amy (mellaithwen)
Posted at: November 7th, 2010 05:13 pm (UTC)

Poor ol' Steeeeeve

(I would like to reiterate my love for you writing this fandom!!) x

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 8th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
hawaii family

I am definitely enjoying writing in this fandom. :)

Thanks!

Posted by: CeCe Away (cece_away)
Posted at: November 20th, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)

Nice. I'm really enjoying this show. So glad they were smart enough to keep the original opening soundtrack.

Plus I get a little thrill whenever I see a SPN character. Oh look there's little Sammy, there's Madison, there's Carmen. Love her chemistry with Steve.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 22nd, 2010 04:42 am (UTC)
danny explanation

I cannot properly express my love of this show right now :) And they have had quite the nice cross section of SPN alums.

Thanks!

Posted by: iawenbemerry (iawenbemerry)
Posted at: November 24th, 2010 06:40 pm (UTC)

I've read this a few times but haven't commented on it (sorry)! I love it. It's very gripping! :)

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: November 29th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)
hawaii family

I'm glad it's worth rereading! Thanks!

Posted by: purple_spock (purple_spock)
Posted at: December 22nd, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)

So I decided I was going to re-read the series, since you posted the new part today, and I saw that I hadn't commented the first time, which is weird. So, I'm commenting now. : ) I really like this series, and this is such a strong beginning, with a fantastic Steve POV. On to the next part!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: December 23rd, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
danny ambulance

Thank you for taking the time! And I'm glad this is worth rereading for you :)

Posted by: mystizan (mystizan)
Posted at: August 22nd, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)

I'm sry, I am squeeing over the fact that u have my husband as ur icon. Live long & prosper!

Posted by: mystizan (mystizan)
Posted at: August 22nd, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
Chuck: Charah I just want u

This is kind of addictive. Off to the next bit!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: August 24th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
danny steve bust

Hopefully addictive in a good way :) Thanks!

Posted by: mystizan (mystizan)
Posted at: August 25th, 2011 02:01 am (UTC)
Bones: love month MINE!

Oh definitely!

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