?

Log in

No account? Create an account
do i dare or do i dare? [userpic]

Chaos ficlet: Sans Everything 1/1

July 19th, 2011 (07:53 pm)
Tags: ,

Title:  Sans Everything

Disclaimer:  Not mine.

A/N:  eviinsanemonkey  asked for Billy Collins; "one man in his time plays many parts.”

Summary:  Billy lies for a living.

-o-

Billy’s a spy.

This means Billy lives his life from lie to lie.  He invests in cover stories and memorizes false histories.  He practices falsehoods and spins characters to charm and generally befuddle.  He winks his way into situations and slips his way out when he can.  When he can’t, he’ll settle for fists, because when a mark’s unconscious, they can’t see who he really is.

Billy didn’t become a spy to tell lies, but it’s something that comes naturally to him.  He’s got the heart of an actor, or so he’s been told, and putting on plays is something that comes inherently to him.  He spent his youth fishing his way out of trouble by creating alternate truths too elaborate to question and he spent his teen years spinning yarns with such enthusiasm that no one dared to doubt.

Then he lied to serve his country, giving his natural talents a noble outlet.  It’s not quite the same at the CIA, but Billy’s polished his act for so many years that no one can tell the difference.

In fact, he doesn’t think anyone doubts that he prefers to live in a hotel.  Free maid service, he says with a twinkle in his eyes.  He doesn’t imagine that anyone thinks twice when he talks about his conquests in the bedroom.  It’s the accent, he assures with a salacious grin.  Overall, Billy’s a happy-go-lucky agent, trained with skill and stamina, and that’s all that matters.  He’ll make jokes in the break room and tell stories on stakes outs and Billy doesn’t have regrets about the mistakes of his past.

It’s easier that way, Billy tells himself.  It’s easier to not talk about the realities of his past or the truth of who he is.  Because lies are complicated but the truth is hard, and Billy’s suffered enough hardships to last him more than one lifetime.  He’s okay like this.  He’s better like this.

But in all these years, with all these lies, with all the parts he’s played, Billy’s starting to wonder where the real him is.  After all, in all of his accomplished falsehoods, he thinks maybe the person he’s fooled the most is himself.

Comments

Posted by: lukadreaming (lukadreaming)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 08:13 am (UTC)
Billy hoody

Oh yes. This! Billy!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 11:42 am (UTC)
billy likes

*pets Billy* I love his character so very much :)

Thanks!

(By the way, I just wanted to make sure that the email I sent you a while ago made it to you. No rush on the beta but I just wanted to be sure it didn't get lost in cyberspace.)

Posted by: lukadreaming (lukadreaming)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:15 pm (UTC)
Billy

I haven't been able to access that addy on webmail on the ipad while I'm on holiday - grr! Will be back Sunday, so will check asap and let you know. I'll be able to do the beta promptly once I'm home. Looking forward to reading the story!

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:18 pm (UTC)
billy content

That's cool! I just have had some bad luck with emails getting lost lately so I wanted to make sure :)

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 11:24 am (UTC)
Chaos: Casey/Billy

oh this is brilliant.
Love the ending.

(You're up!)

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 11:43 am (UTC)
chaos team moves

I like the prompt quite a bit. It gave me a reason to reread Shakespeare, which is usually a plus :)

(team: I'll stand by you)

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 11:44 am (UTC)

I've been in a giant Shakespeare mood 'cause I just started watching this show called "Slings & Arrows" and there's lots of Shakespeare in that

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 11:48 am (UTC)
happy james

Shakespeare's one of those things I OD'd on in college (thank you horrific Shakespeare teacher for almost ruining my literary life!) and then when I was a teacher, I taught Romeo and Juliet to ninth graders. And it's like, after you teach Shakespeare to teenagers, your mind never looks at it the same (and I know a scary amount about that particular play). But it's been long enough that now I can go back and be like, "Oh! I do like this!" And it finally occurs to me why I was an English major in the first place.

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 12:28 pm (UTC)
S&A: Skull

I had a horrible Shakespeare prof in college, too, but thankfully my HS teachers had been great with Shakespeare and made me love him early on so she didn't ruin him entirely (just certain particular ways of looking at the text because it was pretty much her way or the high-way).

oh, R&J...I still hate that play.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 12:39 pm (UTC)
arthur hero

I think courses specifically directed at a single author/poet/etc. are generally not going to be as good because it's just too much. With Shakespeare, it's reading a play a week and I already had an overloaded schedule that semester and it just got to the point where I thought I was going to go insane. All that in addition to a teacher who had been doing it all too long and sucked all possible joy out of the process.

And LOL. I can't hate R&J--I just know it too well. And I may or may not be in love with the 60s Zeferelli film production for its total awesomeness. Sometimes I go into sudden withdrawal because I used to read the thing multiple times a year with teaching and I realize how long it's been since I've looked at it and it feels wrong. I do the same thing with To Kill a Mockingbird.

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 12:41 pm (UTC)

With the right professor, it could be awesome, but in general I agree. Especially with Shakespeare.

I just...I think what I hate about R&J is the way most people now a days view it as some glorious wonderful romance of gloriousness and I'm like "Shakespeare is rolling in his grave rn..."

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 01:10 pm (UTC)
casey general dislike

It really has to be the right teacher. And it probably helps if it's more novel-based rather than plays so you're not reading pieces quite so quickly in a limited amount of time.

And I completely agree with that. It's about the worst example of romance ever. I mean, all indications were that Romeo fell in love with every pretty face that came along and Juliet was just the first idiot to reciprocate his advances. And then you have Romeo's whining in Act 3 about banishment and it's just like, ugh, people are stupid!

I think it's evidence that most people don't actually know much about Shakespeare.

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 01:44 pm (UTC)
S&A: Skull

Yeah. Depending on the novel...I'm firmly convinced anyone trying to teach Melville should devote an entire semester to Moby Dick and do his other works some other semester.

Yes! EXACTLY. like, reading the play on my own and looking at how screwed up everything is and how it's really about the warring families more than any romance, I can find it interesting...but in class with people I just...ugh.

Haha, yeah. It saddens me, really, 'cause I love Shakespeare so much ♥

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 01:54 pm (UTC)

I haven't read Moby Dick so I can't comment :) But in general, the thing that was hardest for me about English classes in college was just the sheer volume of reading. It's like, if you go through 9 books per class and multiply that by three classes, that's 27 books in a small period of time and then you have to add in your textbook reading from other classes and it's a wonder that any English major is sane.

The play fascinates me in so many ways--the themes of love and hate and the unintended consequences of both. I mean, you have characters like Friar Laurence, who are trying to do the right thing, but ultimately makes things so much worse. The end of the play says it pretty well, that the families have brought their own self destruction through their hate (and the irony that the fates destroyed them with love instead).

Now I may have to go read Shakespeare. In all the free time I don't have.

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 01:57 pm (UTC)

It's...well, what we discussed was interesting, but actually reading the book was the worst experience ever. Oh, man, yeah, I...ugh. I will not miss having to read all those books.

You've given me a lot to think about with regards to R&J... :)

haha, I'm thinking of doing that, too. It's very tempting.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:06 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I definitely had some books like that. No matter how interesting the ideas in The Scarlet Letter may be, I cannot stand reading the book.

And LOL. Sorry. It's just been a while since I've had the chance to talk about R&J :)

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC)

I've luckily never read the Scarlet Letter. Too much other Hawthorne? Yes...sadly.

Psh, no, it's awesome! I love thinking about books (it is kind of what I majored in...)

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:23 pm (UTC)

I've had the misfortune of reading TSL twice. The other book I really hated in school was Waverly in my (horrific) Brit-Lit class.

It's always nice to talk about such things with like minds :) It is a rare thing.

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:25 pm (UTC)

D:
I'm so sorry.
I had to read some strange stuff sometimes, and most of it I didn't hate but every so often I hated something.

It is! :)

Posted by: Evil Insane Monkey (eviinsanemonkey)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 10:27 pm (UTC)
Chaos: Team

here it is! I hope you like it!

Posted by: blackdog_lz (blackdog_lz)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 12:46 pm (UTC)
Billy

Aww poor Billy. Feels very true to what we see on the show. Putting up a front to protect himself from the world he lives in.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 02:20 pm (UTC)
billy likes

Poor Billy, but I do love peeling back his layers in fic :)

Thanks!

Posted by: nietie (nietie)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
Chaos2

Oh, yes, poor Billy. I think the person he IS fooling the most is himself. *hugs him*

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 21st, 2011 12:44 am (UTC)
billy approves

He definitely deserves hugs, IMO.

Thanks!

Posted by: smokeygirl19 (smokeygirl19)
Posted at: July 20th, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)

Another nice aspect to Billy! It seems in most of our fanfic, Billy is living some form of a lie to someone. In the series, he certainly diverted enough questions to keep whatever secrets he's holding and to keep from answering any questions.

Posted by: do i dare or do i dare? (faye_dartmouth)
Posted at: July 21st, 2011 12:45 am (UTC)
billy likes

There's definitely that aspect to his character--and it's hard to say how much of it is just James' portrayal and how much was intended by the storyline since we'll never get to see the storyline brought to fruition.

Thanks!

26 Read Comments